Grief & Loss Information Information Research

Tell a Friend about this Site

One Stray Tear


The delight lit my face as the couple turned the corner into the hallway where we stood in lively conversation. I threw my arms open wide, ignored the cell phones plastered to their ears, greeted each of them, first the husband then the wife who followed slightly behind him.

Oblivious, I missed the pained expression on his face as we exchanged hugs. As we separated, I watched a stray tear leak out of the corner of his eye. He kept walking as I shifted my attention to his wife.

"He just found out that his sister passed away," she said in a hushed voice. "I'm so sorry," I replied, stunned into silence. I glanced across the way in time to see the man lean his forehead against the far wall. "I think we're going to go," she added. "I totally understand," I mumbled, at complete loss for words. "I'm so sorry," I repeated. She moved on to comfort her man. Having yet to lose a parent or sibling I felt rather foolish.

Later, questions ran rapid-fire through my brain. Why does the issue of death give us such pause? Do we avoid it so much that we never learn to cope when it faces us? Would it make any difference anyway? Do we not know how to empathize with the pain of another? Do we not care enough or do we care enough yet lack the tools or the skill or the experience to better support in times of need? Or perhaps no answer will ever suffice in such matters of the heart and only time can fill that gaping, jagged, ugly void that scratches the recesses of the soul.

I thought about the mother that loses a child to disease, the soldier that leaves his life on the battlefield, the accidents that part us from loved ones, that savage beast called anger that erupts in violent ways with little regard for the victim until it's too late. Always one constant-suffering, different for each of us yet endured by all, large and small, young and old, weak and strong, with no more discrimination than a roaring wind or a blazing heat, sometimes coming in gusts, sometimes beating on us without reprieve, relentless.

Then it fades. The magic of human resiliency creeps in unannounced and goes to work, a flickering smile, the first laugh, a deep shoulder shrug that sheds an albatross of sorrow, a blue sky that actually gets noticed, a dog lick that incites a momentary grin, a cookie that brings back a measure of sweetness that doesn't instantly disappear, a memory that opens the door for joy to sneak back in and sit a while.

Maybe we'll never figure it out. Maybe there's nothing to figure. Maybe it's hard to speak permanent goodbyes and harder still to accept them. Maybe the tragedy makes way for real love, a bliss born in the contrast of anguish. Maybe the tears wash away grief, one salty drop after another. Maybe we're not supposed to know, just feel. Maybe?

Sun will come up tomorrow-bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow?

That's A View From The Ridge...

About The Author

Author Ridgely Goldsborough invites you to subscribe to The Daily Column, a heart-felt collection of stories that inspire hope and courage. Please do so at www.aviewfromtheridge.com.

ridge@aviewfromtheridge.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Web site offers tips on dealing with grief, loss
Reading Eagle, PA - Nov 10, 2008
By Jane Glenn Haas Yes, death is always with us, but the older we get, the more we seem to grapple with its presence. And death is never a welcome topic in ...


Help for managing grief, loss
Wicked Local Brockton, MA - Nov 12, 2008
By Elaine Allegrini Grief and loss come in many forms, from the loss of a job or home to broken relationships and death. A program for grief and loss ...


Provena planning workshops for bereaved near holidays
Urbana/Champaign News-Gazette, IL - Nov 10, 2008
The Provena Hospice Center for Grief, Loss and Hope says it can help. The organization is offering two free workshops in Champaign and Westville to help ...


Dealing with a dog’s death
Modesto Bee, CA - Nov 18, 2008
Coming to terms with the loss of a pet is never easy. The death of a dog can affect people in the same way that losing a family member or close friend would ...


Christmas season a difficult time for many
Orillia Packet & Times, Canada - Dec 1, 2008
"An event like this allows us to really be authentic in the fact that it is a happy time of year, but we are still dealing with grief, loss and sadness," ...


Suffering the pain of loss
Irish Times, Ireland - Nov 10, 2008
Two days after his father Robert Dunlop died, son Michael went on to win the North West 200 and dedicate the win to his father. Here he is comforted by his ...
'Mammy's gone to heaven' Irish Times
all 2 news articles


Class aims to help children of inmates
Beaver Dam Daily Citizen, WI - Nov 28, 2008
Clark, who earned her master's degree in special education from Edgewood College in 1998, said the course evolved from a Grief, Loss and Recovery class she ...


Indie Watch
Tucson Weekly, AZ - Nov 26, 2008
Expect one-of-a-kind shorts, animations and other experiments regarding themes of ancestry, global rituals and festivals relating to death, grief, loss, ...


Talk for seniors addresses grief
Mirror, MI - Nov 27, 2008
The problems of "Grief, Loss and Mourning" will be the subject of the second talk in a Troy series especially for seniors. The event will be from 7:30-8:30 ...


Unit encourages students to ask tough questions about death, loss
Baraboo News Republic, WI - Nov 25, 2008
A four-week unit on grief, loss and death will be presented to fourth-grade classrooms at different times this year, based upon lessons backed by the ...

Grief-Loss - Google News



MaineBannerExchange

home | site map
© 2006