| ||
| ||
|
Marriage & Wedding Information | |
|
|
Are You Fully Present in Your Marriage?
"Presence is more than just being there," states Malcolm S.Forbes. How true! Have you ever been talking with someone and felt that they were miles away even though they were sitting next to you? They might have appeared to be listening, but you could sense that they weren't really mentally and emotionally present in the conversation. We all have moments when our mind wanders and we lose focus, but if this happens frequently, our relationships with others will be negatively affected. In a marriage, intimacy is enhanced by feelings of connection and harmed when partners start feeling disconnected. When a spouse is physically present but mentally "out to lunch," the partner will feel the difference. Something important is missing, and what is missing is the spouse's full attention to the conversation or activity. Often, the distracted spouse is feeling rushed, bored, impatient, or stressed. When that happens, the natural tendency is to constantly mentally leap ahead to the next items on the "to do" list. If this describes you, then you are missing the experience you are having right now because you are so focused on what you're gong to do next. By living in the future, you miss the present. Besides robbing yourself of the enjoyment of the current experience, you are also negatively impacting how others feel when they are around you. "I'll make it up to him (or her) later," you may tell yourself as you rush through yet another conversation without really looking at your spouse closely or hearing what's really being said. In the mean time, the feeling of disconnection between the two of you grows and intensifies. One of the ways you can show respect and caring for your spouse is to give the gift of undivided attention. Likewise, you show respect and caring for yourself when you value connecting deeply with others, and that can only be accomplished in the Now. One of the best presents you can give others and yourself is to practice being fully present in your life. It takes practice and discipline to pull yourself back to the present moment when your mind jumps ahead into the future. Breaking any long-standing habit is difficult and can take weeks, even months, of practice. But the pay-off for learning to live more of your life consciously and with more awareness of the present moment is significant. Until you can learn to listen intently and focus your total attention on the other person, you are not connecting at the deepest, most intimate level. As Mary Catherwood observes, "Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet." This is the tragedy that befalls many marriages. Follow these five tips to be more present when you interact with your spouse: 1. Stop what you are doing and look at your partner when he/she is talking to you. This shows respect and will make it easier to keep focused. 2. When your mind wanders, gently re-direct it back to the present moment. Take a deep breath to help you stay anchored and centered. 3. Ignore stray thoughts that flit across your mind, trying to distract you. If you don't give them attention, they won't "hook" you. 4. If you are too distracted to concentrate, tell your spouse, "It's really important to me to focus on what you're saying, and I can't seem to concentrate right now. Could we schedule a time to talk later today?" 5. Keep the bigger picture in mind. You are investing time and energy into creating satisfying intimacy with your spouse. Each interaction either adds a deposit to the intimacy "piggy bank" or makes a withdrawal from it. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Wedding Reception Entertainment - Choose Wisely When planning your wedding, what type of entertainment are you looking for? A comedian? A clown? A 3-ring circus? Of course not ? you are looking for high quality entertainment that is tailored to your vision for this once-in-a-lifetime event. Your wedding reception entertainment should tie together all the things you have been dreaming of for many, many months. 'ello? 'ello? 'ello? Is that the Wedding, then? You hear them at champagne-flowing parties. You hear them in crowded trains. Wedding Vows The vows you take to become husband and wife are very special. Over the years many people decided to make up their own versions and today there are many different ways to make this special commitment to each other. 28 Things That Really Do Matter In Marriage (Short Shots On Living An Exceptional Life) In my opinion, these things matter.. Maui: A Prime Wedding Destination Most visitors to Hawaii would agree that Maui is the most beautiful of all the settled islands there. For your wedding ceremony, for that special day you'll remember for the rest of your lives, there's no better location than Maui. Symbolism of Wedding Rings "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed." -C. Bridal Shower Basics A bridal shower is an excellent way for the bride to surround herself with her closest friends and family and relax, loosen up and have some fun. The bride can also use this time to share the experiences of those that have already married, and in a general way, espouse her expectations and dreams for the new adventure she is about to enter. When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the details of your wedding set? place, time of ceremony and reception as well as your guest list. Plan to place your invitation order at least 3-4 months in advance, some companies may require 4-6 months. Choosing a Wedding Reception and Banquet Facility It's time to look for a banquet facility. Most clients end up deciding on a particular banquet facility for two specific reasons - they like how they were treated by the banquet sales staff and they fall in love with the facility when they walk through the doors. Marriage and the Election Dear Friends of Marriage,There is a lot of talk on both sides in this election that this is the most important election this century. Most of this is exaggeration to try and motivate people to vote for one candidate or the other. The Monogram Theme Wedding Monograms are a huge trend in weddings, to the point where they feature strongly in some, and in others, provide the actual theme. And what's not to like about monograms? They're elegant, understated, versatile, and a dramatic visual reminder of your new life together. Are You Fully Present in Your Marriage? "Presence is more than just being there," states Malcolm S.Forbes. Gatlinburg Honeymoon Packages Gatlinburg in Tennessee is the city with streets of art galleries and quaint shops selling local arts and crafts. It is also home to the world-renowned Arrowmont Craft School. What Being Best Man is All About Being a best man is like many duties you will undertake in your life no problem (even enjoyable) if you are fully prepared.Before we begin let's take a quick look at the origins of the role. Weddings Abroad - Does Paradise Come At A Price? For some couples, jetting off to their dream location would be the most romantic way to tie the knot. And with weddings abroad being generally much cheaper than having the big day at home, it would seem that this would be the ideal solution for every bride and groom. Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower, wedding reception, or wedding related gathering. There are thousands of things to pick from when it comes to wedding favors and the message you want to convey. Wedding Day Savings A little strategizing can go a long way when trying to cut down on spending for the big day. Invitations, flowers, and music can cost a small fortune but by making some adjustments to these elements you can have an elegant wedding without breaking the bank. How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand Too many wives with cheating husbands put up with their husband's infidelity because they feel they have no choice, or they don't know what else to do. If you're in a similar situation, don't despair. Mindfulness and Marriage: Moving Along Marriage has to be the greatest opportunity for mindfulness on the planet.I used to think that parenting took top honors, but really, a good marriage lasts a lot longer than a good childhood. What Makes The Best Wedding Anniversary Gift? Choosing a wedding anniversary gift that wows your husband or wife can rate high on your anxiety list; your anniversary is an occasion where the thought counts even more than the gift. The idea that your loving spouse should "know what I want" can lead to disappointed expectations, as men and women tend to have radically different ideas about what "romantic" means.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
